You know how certain themes start appearing in your life? Self-talk has been my communications topic of late. I appreciate how different people address the same issue. Looking through a variety of lenses helps to understand how different people process information. Taking this variety of information into account, one can begin to address making changes in our own self-talk.
Perhaps my favorite take on this inner dialogue and overthinking comes from Jeff Acuff, who has a new book on the subject, Soundtracks. It came to me by way of the Stanford d school, which offers amazing e-learning. Jeff approaches our inner dialog through soundtracks we play over and over in our brain. Some can be helpful, but others are broken. He uses a version of Rumi’s three questions to evaluate your soundtracks. Is it True? Is it Helpful? Is it Kind? If your soundtrack doesn’t make it through those three gates, RETIRE it! Replace it with a more helpful track and put it in Repeat. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we can take control of that inner space and be our own DJ. Research supports that we tend to focus on the negative. We may have done 99 things correctly, but what does our brain choose to focus on? The one we didn’t do well. Left unsupervised, our brains can be real jerks. Remember phrases like, “You are your own worst enemy?’ or “You’re your own worst critic?” Your brain is also at the mercy of memories changing over time and a tendency to believe what it already thinks is true. It is up to us to stand up and retire old, untruthful soundtracks and replace them with hip, new and positive ones. Now, place that on REPEAT. Another perspective is to develop a relationship with your inner critic. Realizing that perhaps that inner voice is really your inner child, just trying to protect you and keep you from risking or getting hurt. Imagine 8-year-old “you” and give this voice a name. I chose Minnie (mini me). The dynamic changes when you can visualize your inner dialogue this way. You are kinder to this voice. Explain why you have the tools and the strength to pursue a new dream. Write them a letter. Finally, there is the embodiment of, “I am my own worst critic.” This is the crappy voice that says, “You are never good enough.” This voice never gives you a break. Its poster mantra is, “Good, better, best. never let it rest until your good is better and your better is best.” Motivational? Maybe. What happens when you don’t meet expectations? Lots of negative feedback. This thing is, would you ever talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself? The answer is no. This is where it is important to challenge that inner self talk. Challenge it to fit through the gates – Is it true, is it necessary, is it kind. Most often the negative thoughts don’t pass the test. How you talk to yourself impacts your attitude, self-confidence, and ability to take risks. If you talk to yourself as your own biggest supporter, there is no telling what you can achieve. It is so interesting how information presented in different ways can resonate with different people. Whatever perspective you choose to apply, the time you take to become aware of your inner dialogue and address the “broken soundtracks,” will be well worth it.
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A 30,000-foot view shows us that education plays a key role in the success of our society. Government first became interested in producing educated, civic-minded, productive citizens through tax dollars in the mid 1800s. This desire by advocates and legislators led to the creation of and investments in public schools. The systems that are in place today are rooted in the original models, which emphasized the basics, encouraged conformity, expected obedience, and required learning content (maybe reword ‘content’ as it is an internet word?). Preparing students to be productive citizens in our information age requires new skillsets, including critical thinking, problem-solving, and a love of learning.
A CEO at a meeting I attended once put it that, “We need students who can learn, unlearn and relearn.” We are preparing students for jobs that don’t even exist yet! Our systems are not meeting the needs of today’s employers. So, how do we make change happen in a decentralized and dated system? If change is what society, employers and most of all students need, how do we go about shifting the massive bureaucracy that is education? It is overwhelming to begin to think about. Understanding some of the challenges faced by advocates for change face can help us identify and focus on strategy. Educating the public and decision-makers on why change is needed must happen if we ever hope to achieve meaningful reforms. Determining what needs to change is a huge challenge. Educators have been subject to new “program of the week” initiatives that only seem to add more work and not take any away. Turnover in leadership only makes it worse, as each new leader wants to put their stamp on a department, district, or school. It is likely many educators will be skeptical about the possibility for real change. A top-down, bottom-up, inside-outside approach is called for. When people are involved in the process, they gain buy-in buy in. Education is often so siloed, it is hard to see beyond what needs to change for a specific situation, not the system as a whole. The change many reformers envision is seismic change, which essentially scraps what has been in favor of what needs to be. The issue is people committing to rowing the boat in the same direction toward a vision for the future. Big change takes time and will likely require a series of small successes. Kentucky has taken significant steps toward a new reality with their United We Learn initiatives. Advocates often come together at meetings to discuss where we need to be. I loved Tony Wagner addressing the need to learn content. He held up his phone and said something to the effect of, “All the content you really need is right here.” His point was that we need to be able to teach kids how to process content, see the relevance, and be able to apply it to innovations. Measuring these skills is not as easy as a standardized state test. Developing measures that matter will be how reform can succeed. Educators are held accountable for what is measured. If we keep outdated measures, we will only progress on those measures. Changing to novel measures will not sit well with those who love to point to rankings. Educators will need to be open to learning new ways of doing things. It will be hard. It will take lots of negotiation and compromise, but it is necessary. A key point of reform must be equity in learning. The current system is failing half of our kids. We need to find supports that give kids a sense of security and trust so they can be open to learning. Hearing from students is a key component if we ever hope to get this right. School and society are not what many adults experienced. Understanding students’ challenges will be important to substantive change. Once agreement is achieved, the big change comes in changing the system. To do that, a serious, multilevel education campaign will need to happen. Hearts and minds of the decision-makers will need to be won over. Who is in charge of the big decision making? States are primarily responsible for education, which is largely framed and funded through legislation. That means that state legislatures will be key in any major systems change. Legislators are elected by voters, so change begins with education of the masses through basic messaging. Legislators are in a unique position. They must learn about a huge variety of things to run a state. Beginning to comprehend the massive complexities of the education system is a tall order, especially considering they also need to understand budgets, transportation, economic development, healthcare, etc. Legislators will only be able to be generalists. It is up to the education community to educate legislators about what change is needed and why. Keep in mind, legislators are also concerned about re-election, fundraising, lobbyists, being good stewards of tax dollars, passing bills, etc. Legislators will need to find sources they can trust in all the areas they need to be informed about. Change will only happen if those trusted influencers are on board with proposed changes. It is also important to speak in clear language. Educators are guilty of “eduspeak,” which the general public does not understand. No one wants to feel stupid while learning. Take that thought with you to legislators and your community. It may take years, but it is worth it! Legislation is often a long-haul process. As we learned in the Schoolhouse Rock “I’m Just a Bill” cartoon, first sponsors must agree to bring a bill forward, then it will go through committee, then both the House and Senate must approve it, and then the bill will be signed by the governor (president?). There are lots of opportunities to go off the rails here. Once legislation is passed, it heads to regulations. The people who write the regulations really determine how a law is implemented. Usually, the Department of Education takes on the task of translating the new law into new regulations and policies. The wheels can fall off at this stage, so it is vitally important that key people at the department are a part of any effort to change. The spirit of legislation can get lost in regulations. Implementing true change—even if it is law—is an entirely new challenge. Simon Sinek has a great image titled, “The Law of Diffusion of Innovation” by Everett Rogers. It shows a bell curve of idea adoption. There will be a few early adopters and innovators who will be on board, especially if they were a part of the process early. The key to successful implementation is to have those early adopters influence the early and late majority people. Schools and districts tend to be very siloed, so an intentional and strategic communication is really important. As suggested before, this process will proceed faster if all stakeholders are brought in for the early stages. Knowing that there are an infinite number of obstacles in this path, it is easier to understand why change does not happen faster. We see pockets of true light around the country where we see glimmers of what can be. It is time for advocates to come together to truly effect change. www.lizaholland.com Mother’s Day reminds me of the personality of my amazing mom. She was a consummate diplomat who embodied what it meant to be a lady. She was a great listener who was able to help people come to consensus. A lot to live up to as a daughter. After trying to emulate her process and feeling like I failed, what I discovered was that I didn’t have to approach things like my mother to have my own value. I just needed to find the best approach for me.
Like many people, I have taken a variety of personality tests – I am an ENTP, a DI, and a #8. I am much more direct and tend to want to be the leader of groups. I have come to understand I am much more like my grandmother in personality than my mom. I still admire both of them as effective communicators. Each has their unique approaches, and both work. I can appreciate one without using the same approaches. Personality tests help you understand yourself, but the best insights are found in understanding others that you interact with. Different personalities approach topics in different ways. Effective communication involves listening to understand (not to reply) and responding with the context of what is important to the person you are speaking to. Personalities have a big impact when it comes to presenting a new idea to a group. You should be aware of the variety of personalities in the room and understand what they are listening for. One person may be visionary, another resistant to change. One might be interested in the financial impact, another worried about what others are feeling. You can try to cover the bases in your initial presentation based upon your knowledge of the audience. The next step is creating a safe space for participants to ask questions, make suggestions, clarify, and understand. Trust is required. It is easy to say, but building trust is not easy. People will contribute freely only if they know their input will be valued. So many initiatives go awry at this stage. As a leader, it is tempting to present a new idea as a done deal – here you go – this is what we are doing. You can do this, but don’t expect effective and enthusiastic implementation. Allowing two-way communication takes more time, but the increased understanding will build commitment and make the participants feel a part of the team. So, have patience with your skeptics, the detail people, the process folks, and the visionaries. Make sure to make space for your quiet introverts and listen to the extroverts. Let your personalities add to the communication and understanding. This week I had the opportunity to take and review a DISC assessment. I was familiar with Myers Briggs, which has guided me for many years now. Having recently taken on a management position, I was intrigued about applying these personality traits to management and the dynamics in an office setting.
My own results were much as I expected. I am a high DI. For better or worse, I am familiar with these strengths and weaknesses. What was interesting to me was examining the other traits through the lens of communication with people. Reflecting on some recent interactions, I realized that how I present information is as important as the information itself. If you truly want buy-in, you need to think not only about the words, but how they are received. Sometimes, it is timing, sometimes people need warning. When I do presentations, I think about what the "listen fors" might be from an audience. The same goes for day to day interactions. What is important to the person you are talking to? How does this new information affect them? Do they have the knowledge and resources to do what you are asking? So much to think about. For a person like me, who tends to be a risk taker and visionary, some of my ideas may sound "out there" Think about what is important to the other personalities out there. Maybe they need to be walked through it step by step. Perhaps they need the reassurance that you have thought this through. As a manager, if you want your team to buy in, you need to make sure your address any reservations out there. You never know, others may think from an angle you have not. Be open to changes which can make your plans even better. Launching into a new year is exciting. Funny how a calendar change can inspire personal change. I like the imagery of launching, as you have several things which support your launch. Each rocket thruster needs to be ready and addressed to ensure your launch is successful. If one is weak, the trajectory will be off.
Planning and focus helps those of us who tend to have lots of ideas which might distract us from the pathway we have chosen to follow. Getting things on paper, reminding yourself of the lens through which you want to be looking during this time, making sure you are able to measure success. These are all key elements for not only the launch, but the success of the overall mission. Want to make it to the moon? That is one plan. Mars, a completely different one. Choose your destination for 2020 and make plans for a successful launch. Don't worry, on occasion, all of us take detours. Sometimes they can even be unexpectedly helpful in reaching your overall goals. 2019 Is quickly coming to an end and the Winter Solstice signals a time to refocus. A good friend of mine did a great reflection and planning exercise with a group of us last year - teaching us to Focus Like a Laser Beam (great book by Lisa Hanneberg). I took a look at the reflections and planning for the year 2019 today and it is so interesting to see where you were vs where you are.
I find myself a bit more reflective this year than last. I was starting a new job in January and the focus was very much on bringing problem solving skills and creativity to the job. It turned out to be a year packed with finding solutions, implementing systems, and refocusing on what was important for the health of the association. Lots of fires fought and a learning curve which totally met my need to be a lifelong learner! This year it feels good to be transitioning to strategy and new ideas. Interestingly, my personal focus moving into 2020 looks a bit more centered on the now. How my state of being can affect my experiences as I move into this more strategic thinking is really resonating with me. I am keeping my word- Intention going into 2020. I am adding Permission. In this case, permission to self care, permission to create, permission to think "out of the box." I hope you too give yourself permission to be great in 2020. Words are such fun. I have been sharing Facebook posts which tickle my funny bone recently. It is great to get a smile from playing with words. I am fascinated by how changing one word can adjust how people feel and react. In some cases, you choice of words can be very powerful.
One of my favorites comes from my husband, who is an infectious disease specialist. He had collaborated with researchers in England to bring a new treatment system to the US. He went into the initial meeting with farm managers, telling them this was a "disease of management" and proceeded to tell them what to do. Funny enough, he met with resistance. What those managers heard was "you are a bad manager" which made them defensive and insulted. We brainstormed and changed the wording to "this is a manageable disease" and the entire reception was transformed. Now the managers were empowered to use their skills to solve the problem. Choose your words carefully, but be sure to have fun as well. Variety is the spice of life, right? I have been thinking about variety in relation to the writing process. Never having written a book before, I am finding a challenge in downloading what is in my head onto the page. Writing mostly in chronological order, based upon an outline, I am finding my creative mind constrained by this. Why not write the scenes you are anxious to get to? Nothing wrong with creating in pieces and putting them together later. Movie makers do this all the time. Maybe changing up how the information is recorded. After all, technology is amazing these days. Alexa or Siri could become a writing partner. Maybe I can make better use of that 30 minute commute.
The point is, there are lots of ways to approach the task. It is easy to let process interfere with creativity. Remember to stay true to sharing your story. Editing can and will come later. Have fun with the how and it may keep you from getting stuck. Writing is a real experience. I used to enjoy writing and dreaming at my dining room table in Bulloch Harbour. I could see the castle from my window and it would spark dreams of all of the history it has seen over time. Started in 1149, Bulloch Castle has seen a lot of history unfold.
These dreams inspired by book in progress, which is centered in Bulloch, past and present. I have a strong outline about the plot for both timelines and it is a joy to visit both stories. I am finding myself "squirreled" by all of the great writing advice that is out there. How you can create strong characters, not overusing descriptive terms, plot considerations... All of a sudden, writing is much more than getting words on a page. I love to read. As a writer, I really want to be able to create a world in which my readers want to live for a time. I find that all of this advice produces two conflicting responses for me. The first is self doubt. "Can I really write something others want to read?" The second is love of learning. I love to consider all the things these articles bring up and I can get quite lost in applying the advice to writing. Unfortunately, it also seems to slow down the process of actually getting the story into words. Balance is the conclusion I am coming to. Like any art, you can never produce a "perfect" piece. Editing and polishing are important, but it is also important to let the story itself shine through. Giving myself permission to write in different ways has been a revelation of sorts. It ok to just free write, everything does not need to be in sequence, as that is what cut and paste is for. Sometimes blurbs are enough and you can go back and fill in later. It is quite freeing of course. I am very thankful for word processing having overtaken the typewriter. Ultimately, the experience is making me appreciate authors even more. Happy writing, my friends! Ahh, Resolutions. My social media feed is full of suggestions, thoughts, mantras, dos and don'ts. The new year presents an ideal opportunity to reflect, set new goals and take advantage of new opportunities to succeed.
I have chosen this year to join a group, Focus like a Laser Beam, which is working on goal setting and accountability based up on a mash up of two books by Lisa Hanneberg. The first, Focus Like a Laser Beam, provides the group title. The second, Two Weeks to a Breakthough, provides additional info to inform the process. I have just begun, but the pre-work has been a wonderful way to reflect and focus on the new year. I don't believe enough of us take the time to do this. Be grateful for the good things, appreciate the lessons from the not so great things. At times, life can seem overwhelming. Stepping back to the 30,000 ft view can put things into a proper perspective. After all, as one of the many FaceBook post reminds us, "We have a 100% track record of surviving so far!" I have come up with the following overarching strategies for 2019 Purpose or My Why: I want to inspire change through intentional problem solving and big picture thinking; empowering people and society to move forward to greatness. I will do this through Intention, Inquiry, Creativity and Problem Solving (I.I.C.P) My Mojo or Superpower: Connector Liza’s 2019 strategies:
I hope you can take time to focus on what works for you in 2019. |
Liza HollandAuthorI have always loved words and reading. I was that kid that had her nose in a book to and from school. The crossing guard saw me coming and stopped traffic so I didn’t have to look up! As I grew into professional life, I did lots of writing - published articles, newsletters, ads, white papers, reports, grants, op eds, blogs, you name it. Recently, I took what would up being a sabbatical to Europe. My husband was offered a great opportunity and we spent a year in Belgium and a year in Ireland. It was magical. I did so many things I never had time for, including joining a writing group. Having time to think, I came back to Kentucky with 2, count them, 2 book ideas. I hope to share the journey of the coming to fruition with you.Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
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